Today I woke up around 10:30am after I particularly weird dream that I don't even remember. I felt icky. I went and did my routine and found myself maintaining again. Third day in a row. I hopped on Facebook for a bit and then decided to go back to bed. I set my alarm for 1:00. However, I didn't go to sleep. I cried in my bed for thirty minutes because I miss my dad. After I got over myself, and got out of bed around 12:30 and back online. My cell phone alarm went off at 1:00 and I ignored it. Around 2 I got in the shower and I was suddenly in a good mood so I brought my iPod in there and sang in the shower. But before I got in the shower, I weighed myself once more. I did lose a pound! I was really excited. I got ready for work and straightened my hair even (which I rarely do) and went back on the computer until my little brother got home from school just before 3pm. I grabbed my things and was out the door fifteen minutes later.
I had to be at work at four. The walk to work was excruciating for two reasons. One, it was so terribly windy out and I almost got knocked over on several occasions (and it messed up my hair); and two, despite the fact that I know now to put band-aids on the back of my heels and ankles to prevent getting cut up by my shoes, the band-aids came off and it happened anyway. So the second half of my walk to work was more of a painful limp. I got to work pretty early and went up to the break room. I searched my bag for a new band-aid with no luck. Not only did my heels get cut up, the puddles outside got in my shoes and my feet were soaked and nasty. Great. Four hours of walking around in nasty shoes. I heard other employees at the bottom of the break room stairs and went to ask them where I could get a band-aid. There was a man I'd never seen before in a suit and some guy from produce. The produce guy brought me to a first aid kit and gave me a band-aid. I went back up to the break room, put it on, washed my hands and went downstairs to clock in five minutes early. Wendy was down there and she greeted me with, "Hey, theeerrrreee's Amy!" which made me smile. She's really nice. I clocked in with my new name badge but it didn't work, so I used my old number. Off to bag. I was bagging for this girl, Breianna, and she asked me if I could switch hours with her on Saturday. I agreed and I'm now working her 5-9 rather than my former 11-4. Also, she told me that the strange man I saw earlier was the new store manager. Apparently he's a jerk. Great.
I had to help an elderly disabled woman bring her groceries to her car. I brought them to her car and I was putting the cart back to the front when Jennifer walked out to have a cigarette (which made me laugh because she just got there five minutes before - she's a fiend). She asked how I was doing and I said I was feeling pretty good today and she told me I looked better. At first I didn't like that. I thought it meant "you look like you gained weight." I paused for a second before replying, "Yeah, uh, I feel a little better for today." I want back inside and bagged some more. Today is Tuesday which means it's Jennifer's day to spend four hours in the break room by herself sorting price tags. About twenty minutes later Wendy tells me I need to push carts because there's no one else to do it. So I go up and get my coat from the break room. Jennifer is up there with Dinea (one of the other front-end people), who is on her break. They both ask what I'm doing and I tell them I have to push carts so they say in unison, "Wear your coat, you don't wanna get sick" to which I reply, "It's okay, I'm already sick... in the head." Jennifer chuckles but Dinea doesn't know me that well so I guess she didn't know what to think of the comment. I go out and push carts for what feels like forever. I finish at quarter after five and bring my coat back up to the break room. I was heading for the door to go back downstairs when Jennifer says, "So are you really doing okay?" so I stopped and talked to her for a bit. I told her about my binge period and how I gained back four of the six pounds I lost from my five-day fast. She told me I really don't need to lost weight, blah, blah, blah. Then she told me she was going to ask her friend for numbers for treatment centers. I just said 'thank you,' even though I'm not considering treatment. She said Dinea asked about me after I went downstairs earlier. She asked Jennifer if there was something wrong with me. Jenn said she didn't tell her anything, just that I was a nice girl and a hard worker and whatnot. Okay, whatever. I went back downstairs and did returns for a while until about 6:10 when I went back upstairs to go on break. I went outside for a cigarette and back upstairs for the last five minutes of my break to talk to Jennifer. We talked about school because she's a middle school math teacher and I told her about my crazy middle school years and how misbehaved I was. I went back downstairs and went back to bagging. Wendy came up to me and gave me a little business card-looking thing with my name and her signature and today's date. It was a "good customer service" card, and she said I got it for doing a really good job. This made me smile. I was told to put it in a box at customer service. Apparently this box is like a monthly raffle and a card gets picked out and the 'winner' gets a $25 or $50 gift card. Awesome. More bagging. Around 7:30 I got bored so I did the rest of the returns. I was by the back of the store when a customer asked me where the bathroom was. I pointed it out to her and she said, "If I leave my stuff right here, can you watch it until I get back?" I tell her yes, and she leaves her purse and a water bottle on a Hostess display table. Two seconds later I totally forget about it and continue through the aisles doing returns. About ten minutes later, five aisles over, the woman comes walking down the aisle I'm in with her kid. I'm on the side of the aisle, not even in her way, and she comes by and rudely shouts, "Excuse me!" and I instantly remember that I was supposed to watch her stuff and I totally just left it there up for grabs. I felt so, so horrible. I feel like I failed a customer. She was quite clearly annoyed. I ran out of the aisle to the other side of the store. I looked at my phone and thank God I did because it was 7:58 and I needed to clock out. I bring the cart back to the front and clock out. I go upstairs, grab my stuff, back downstairs, grab some Crystal Light, check out and pay $4 in quarters. Bye!
My mom is waiting in the car. Of course she doesn't ask me how work was. I don't expect her to anyway. She tells me a cop told her to park her car in the parking lot and not in front of the store or she'll get a ticket. I've told her this countless times, but apparently it takes a cop to make her a believer. We get home and I take off my work clothes and get ready to do laundry. I carry my clothes out to the kitchen where the washer is and my mom screams at me, "We don't have any fucking detergent!" so I scream back that I don't have clean work clothes. I storm back out into the living room and throw them on the floor just as she changes her mind and says we have just enough for one load. I go back and throw everything in there. Back to the living room. I decide I need to eat since I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm doing ABC. 500 calories. I go in the kitchen and think about what we have. I start with a salad and my light dressing. My mom yells at me because I didn't shake the dressing first. There's 65 calories. Hmm. It's almost like a game. I go in the fridge and look around. Most of everything is really old. We still have cranberry sauce from Thanksgiving. There's a package of hot dogs in the side of the door. They're 114 calories each. Two for 228. Okay, how much is the bread? I check - they're 81 a piece. Two hot dogs with two slices of bread: 390 calories. Okay, so 390 there and 65 from the salad... 455. What the hell is there in my house to eat that's 45 calories? I went back in the living room to eat my hot dogs while I thought. Crumbs from the bag of chips. I estimated the crumbs to total about three chips, about a quarter of a serving. Thirty-eight calories. Perfect enough. Done - ABC Day 2 - 493 calories.
Tomorrow my social worker is picking me up at noon to take me to Planned Parenthood to be checked out and get lots of nice goodies like condoms, emergency contraception and pregnancy tests. Oh, boy! Then I'm working from 5-9. Tomorrow is day three of ABC for me: 300 calories.
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