The Emptiness

Today was very tiring.  I woke up around 10 this morning and started to get ready for work.  Well my "boyfriend" made me promise last night that I would call him before I went to work today (I had work at 12).  So I take my shower and dry my hair and straighten it & the like, and by that time it's about 11:30.  As I promised, I called him, but only for about 5 minutes.  He tells me to call him as soon as I get off from work (possessive much?) and I told him I was planning on calling my friend Erica because I haven't talked to her in a while since I've been talking to him 24/7 and haven't had time to.  He says, "No, you're supposed to call me first." and I told him I would call him when I'm done talking to her. "Well how long are you gonna be on the phone with her then?  You need to call me right away when you're done."  Ugh.  I hang up and go to work.

Work is long and tiring.  I go in and try to clock in but my time card is still inactive because they haven't put me in the system yet.  So I go and bag.  Surprisingly, in my three-day experience there so far, the customers are very nice.  But of course, not everyone is going to be nice.  One customer came through the check-out where I was bagging and told me to bag everything in paper, so I did.  Then he says, "Well you obviously haven't been working here very long.  When a customer asks you to bag in paper you always need to double bag it unless they ask you not to."  This is extremely untrue, but apparently he doesn't know that, and "the customer is always right" so I said I was sorry and did as he asked.  Then he says to the cashier, "Yeah, what would you rate her for customer service?"  Vince, the cashier, just ignored him, but the customer wouldn't shut up.  I was so glad when he left - he was really pissing me off.  Later, I was bagging at another line and a woman was buying these Hostess doughnuts that were buy one get one free.  So the cashier rings it up and it says: (something along the lines of)
HSTSS DNUTS  4.29
HSTSS DNUTS BUY 1 GET 1 FREE
HSTSS DNUTS 4.29-

Apparently the woman didn't understand that the second time it said it, there was a minus after it, meaning it subtracted that amount since it was free. "Wait, you just charged me like, four times for those doughnuts!"  Total exaggeration.  "No, ma'am, the second time was the computer subtracting that amount *points to the minus symbol on the screen* see? It took away the 4.29 so it cancels it out."  They argued for a while and finally the woman gave up.  I went on my break about halfway through my shift and went outside for a cigarette.  Jennifer, one of the front-end supervisors, went out too because she goes out there about every half-hour even though she's not supposed to (although I guess she figures she can do as she wishes seeing as she's a supervisor).  We went to the side of the building because we're not allowed to stand in front (that's loitering) and started having small conversation.  I was in the middle of telling her a story about my brother, and another associate, Curtis, comes out.  The second she sees him, I'm in the middle of a sentence, and she stops and turns her back towards me and says, "Hey, Curtis! What's up, man!?" and totally ignores me.  How fucking rude! So I was just like, ok whatever, and went back inside.  The rest of my shift was spent bagging until Dave, the assistant manager, called me over ten minutes before I was supposed to leave and asked me to push carts.  So I go outside and push some carts and my mom comes pulling up and sits there.  Well obviously I'm busy working, but she expects me to get in the car.  I keep trying to tell her to go park before she gets a ticket for parking in the fire zone because I wasn't done.  And she also tried calling me during my shift to ask me to pick up cream of mushroom soup, because I can totally answer my phone while I'm working.  Oh, and I also have money.  Not.

On the way home all she talks about is her boyfriend not being able to come and spend the night because he was "stuck" with his step-son (who is 21) all night.  So she sat there and bitched and complained and swore.  She's really fucking annoying.  Yeah, Mom, my day was great, thanks for asking!  Whatever, I don't really care.  I go home and I'm so tired and sore.  I have a cigarette and try to call my friend Erica but she doesn't answer.  So I called my friend Kristin and talked to her for a little bit and then I tried calling Joe (my "boyfriend").  I called him about five or six times and he didn't answer so I called Erica back and she picked up so I talked to her for two hours.  While I was on the phone with her he tried calling me twice but I didn't pick up.  He kept messaging me on Facebook asking me how long I was gonna be on the phone and that I need to call him.  I got off the phone with Erica and had another cigarette before calling him back.  He didn't answer until the fourth time I called him.  We talked for about ten minutes and then he said he wanted to go to bed because he took some aspirin and felt dizzy.  Thank God.

I maintained my weight for the third day in a row now and I'm getting kind of annoyed.  I didn't eat all day, and I thought I was going to pass out at work.  I was fine.  When I came home I wasn't hungry anyway.  A little later I decided to eat the rest of my pickles.  There were only three left, but I had 2½ because my mom wanted half of one.  For some reason I felt like eating more even though I really wasn't hungry, so I had the rest of the leftover pasta, about 1½ cups.  I'm under 500 calories today, but that wasn't what I was aiming for.  I was only supposed to have the pickles.  I don't want to maintain again tomorrow.  I was too tired to go for a walk like I usually did before I started working.  There's no way in hell I have time to walk three times a day with a job unless I don't sleep.  Anyway, I also hope I don't gain, although I know that idea is somewhat irrational.  Can't I just lose one more pound? Or two? Well, really three, then I don't care, as long as I don't gain it back.  Ugh, this is so frustrating.

Tomorrow I don't have to work, so hopefully I will be able to sleep in somewhat and relax a little, maybe take a hot bath since we just cleaned the tub.  I dunno.  Hopefully I won't be as sore and I can go for a walk, although we're supposed to have a low of 9° tomorrow where I'm at.  Mostly, I just hope I will stay away from crap food.  I have work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday this coming week.  I might be seeing Joe on one of my days off if it works out for him.  We'll see.